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Adventures in dangerous tennis

Adventures in dangerous tennis

It’s no secret that I’m not really wired for complex athletic endeavors. “Complex” meaning anything other than walking and sometimes running. However, I may have arrived at a new low over the weekend.

My roommate Jenny and I decided to play racquetball on Sunday. Jenny is probably the most athletically skilled person I know in real life. She’s one of those people who has an inherent understanding of hand-eye-body coordination. Surprising to no one, I’m not one of those people. What I have is an inherent understanding that I do not have hand-eye-body coordination, which explains my perpetual all-enthusiasm-no-skill … Continue reading

The future might not be terrible!

The future might not be terrible!

I have all the qualities of an optimist and none of the follow-through.

I love being optimistic about the present. I’m habitually and absurdly content with whatever my present circumstances are. I can find microscopic amounts of good and potential good in almost anything that is actually happening.

But my optimism about the future leaves something to be desired, namely optimism. To me, the future is a foggy abyss I want nothing to do with. The future is an uncertain time steeped in high amounts of potential catastrophe and the certain demise of everyone and everything I love. So, basically, … Continue reading

Chicken, Three Ways (including “The Soup”)

Chicken, Three Ways (including “The Soup”)

Let’s talk about a kitchen victory like no other: using one thing for multiple purposes.

This is not a new revelation. The New York Times is not going to call me to discuss my groundbreaking use of poultry. This is, however, the first time I’ve:

  1. Bought a whole chicken and roasted it for dinner
  2. Roasted the carcass* to make chicken stock
  3. Used the stock to make soup

I felt like a pioneer. I never watched Little House on the Prairie, but it seemed like Laura Ingalls Wilder would have been proud.

It all started with a real chicken from a … Continue reading

On small changes

On small changes

We’ve been on a bit of a Fixer Upper kick around here. I was watching the show one day, which intrigued one of my roommates, who then watched more episodes and read The Magnolia Story and went on a pilgrimage to Waco (and/or she was already going there and the Silos just happen to be there too… basically the same thing.) My other roommate is Chip Gaines. So home improvement vibes have abounded as of late.

We’ve been talking about painting the living room for a long time, but starting to paint is kind of like starting to work out. … Continue reading

573 words on the Nice Black Shoes

573 words on the Nice Black Shoes

I’ve learned a thing or two in my 30 years of life, and one of those things is this: comfort > style.

I’m not exactly rolling into work in my pajamas or anything, but let’s just say I’ve embraced a flexible definition of the word “pants.” So yesterday morning, when I was deciding what to wear and I wanted to go with the Nice Black Shoe option, I came to a crossroads.

I like the Nice Black Shoes from Target, but the Nice Black Shoes don’t like me. By mid-day I’m always cursing my choice of footwear, … Continue reading

Dear Best Parts Of My Life

Dear Best Parts Of My Life

One would think you’d be easy to spot. That, from a distance, I could look out on the horizon and see you coming along all shiny and beautiful and say, “Hey! That’s a good thing on the way!”

But you’re not like that. You are so tricky. You’re just like Jesus, behind the door that’s behind the other door.

More often than not, you come disguised as something I don’t even kind of want, lurking behind a series of doors. I’m looking at you, Traveling Internationally For Work, Living With Roommates, Having A Dog, and about a hundred others.

This is … Continue reading

872 Words On Anti-Theft Audio Systems

872 Words On Anti-Theft Audio Systems

Earlier this week, after reading this post by Melanie Shankle, I realized it had been far too long since I’d posted an interesting life anecdote here. My car, as per all of the times, saw the gleaming door of opportunity and charged straight through it.

So, my headlight went out earlier this week. No big deal. I called my mechanic and he told me to bring it in anytime. Fantastic.

When I went back to pick it up, I couldn’t get my automatic locks to work. I thought that was odd but not entirely out of the ordinary, because … Continue reading

Dear Lauren Graham

Dear Lauren Graham

Between the number of hours I’ve spent watching Gilmore Girls and Parenthood, it’s safe to say you’ve had a strong presence in my life over the past decade or so. (And by that I mean I’ve probably spent more time with you than I have with some of my actual friends. Sorry, three-dimensional people.)

But even though Lorelai Gilmore and Sarah Braverman have taught me many good things, none of them compare to this:

In contrast, a few months after the book was published, I got word that Ellen DeGeneres’s production company, AVGP, wanted to option it for television.

Continue reading