Author: Beka

Quieting the question factory

Quieting the question factory

Remember when I proclaimed February as the month of Fear/Worry/Robotic Shoulder Tension? I thought I was going to write about the solutions—things like yoga and prayer and walking more than 2,000 steps a day. But as it turns out, I’m going to start by writing about one of the problems.

Surprisingly, one of the problems is writing.

Sometimes writing feels like being on Oprah when she gives away the cars and the vacations and the elixirs that make you look 18 again. But most other times, writing feels like running a self-indulgent marathon. In the Sahara. In a parka.

And … Continue reading

Just call me C-3PO

Just call me C-3PO

It will likely come as no surprise that Super Bowl Sunday is an actual holiday on my personal calendar—not as great as Christmas (#RIPDaphne), but way better than Arbor Day/Groundhog Day/Most Other Days—and yesterday was a particularly great Super Bowl Sunday.

  1. It snowed basically the entire day.
  2. The Eagles won.
  3. This Is Us let everyone get a good cathartic cry in at the end of it all.

There was only one problem. Because I (unnecessarily) carry the entire weight of the world on my shoulders, I woke up yesterday mostly unable to move my upper body. If you … Continue reading

A confession, an update

A confession, an update

First, a confession.

I wrote a whole blog post about letting go and in that blog post, I used the illustration of hanging onto your Christmas tree for too long. I knew when I wrote it that it was a really bad idea to use that analogy because I adored our Christmas tree this year.

Which is why I am currently sitting on the couch, starring at our Christmas tree… on January 28th. She’s been camped out in the living room for nearly two entire months and is looking more and more like a shriveled up tree ghost every day.… Continue reading

For Monday morning angst

For Monday morning angst

Some may say I’ve been a little angsty this week, and some would be right. It’s one part cabin fever and one part jittery restlessness and one part What Am I Even Doing With My Life, Episode 107. As of yesterday, it’s also one part Is It Still 2017? because the Jaguars are not going to their first Super Bowl and the Patriots are going to their first Super Bowl since last year.

And if we really want to deep dive into the angst, we can discuss the fact that I took this time off in part to spend … Continue reading

January’s Thing: Interviewing my parents

January’s Thing: Interviewing my parents

My parents have gotten some good air time on this blog over the years, mostly because they are hilarious. There was the time the cops came over for Christmas, the time my mom almost ran me over with her car, and the time my mom schooled all of us on how to properly insulate coffee, just to name a few. And because I haven’t shared a good parental anecdote here in awhile, I feel like it’s time for a new one. It’s just the right thing to do.

My mom has a long history of keeping her … Continue reading

Hinterland 2018: Party like a Puritan

Hinterland 2018: Party like a Puritan

About a year and a half ago I decided to move out of my modest-yet-endearing apartment with wood floors and gigantic windows and ceilings higher than a kite and into a house in the city with friends. Moving from many years of living alone and into a room that is smaller than any dorm room I’ve ever occupied seemed mostly crazy at first. The next logical move would have been to buy a house, not move back down the adulthood ladder from living independently to living with roommates. Also, I had stuff. It wasn’t wedding present caliber stuff; it … Continue reading

Hinterland, Week Thirteen: Letting go

Hinterland, Week Thirteen: Letting go

Here we are at the very end of 2017.

I’m not great at embracing change, and I’m especially bad at endings, so you can imagine how much I dislike transitioning from one year to the next. I usually cling to the last few days of a year as if they were the last drops of water at the bottom of a barrel in the middle of the desert. But along with 99% of the world’s population, I will not be sorry to see 2017 come to an end today. Bye, Felicia. Don’t let the door hit you on the way … Continue reading

Hinterland, Week Twelve: Christmas with a real camera

Hinterland, Week Twelve: Christmas with a real camera

I’m sitting here at 10:30pm watching the Packers play a meaningless game—and it’s not even a preseason game. This has not happened in probably close to a decade because the Packers haven’t been this bad in probably close to a decade. This does not make me feel jolly. But you know what does make me feel jolly? The Great British Baking Show, which my mom and I just started watching today because of The Hype and now I totally understand The Hype.

“Jolly” is only the correct word to use when it’s two days until Christmas. At any other … Continue reading